No, you are definitely not alone in staging arguments while in the shower with shampoo bottles as your audience in hopes of preparing the best comeback to every possible situation. Or, maybe, replaying a quarrel from years ago, wishing to find an even better comeback than the one you had at the time. However, not all of us are blessed with a wit as sharp as a whip and a tongue coated in sugar, and some assistance in beating someone in the battle of words might be needed. But worry not, as you’ve come to exactly the right place – a very thorough list of hand-picked comebacks that will surely cover each and every possible topic.
Have you ever had someone diss your favorite dish? Well then, let’s not repeat the mistake of standing there speechless, but rather pick a spicy comeback or two out of this list and keep them in your pocket for later use! Has anyone ever told you they do not like your shoes? With these quips, there will be nothing left to do for them but just to keep on walking! These examples are just the tip of the iceberg of the vast arrangement of situations in which these comebacks might come in handy; all you have to do is to try to memorize them, and you’ll be ready for anything.
So, without any further ado, why don’t we all just scroll down and check out these Shakespearian insults that’ll not only see you winning but also your opponent absolutely dumbfounded by your clever retort? Be sure to vote for the brutal comebacks that you think might be of good use to you and share this article with your friends!
I do not have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
Somewhere out there, there’s a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. I think you should go and apologize to it.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
Your family tree must be a cactus’ cause you’re all a bunch of pricks.
What does not kill you, disappoints me.
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.
You are the human version of period cramps.
You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
You are like a cloud. When you disappear it’s a beautiful day.
Someday you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.
I understand everything you said. I’m choosing to ignore you.
It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.
People like you are the reason I’m on medication.
Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up?
May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people.
I envy people who have never met you.
Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
I’ve been called worse by better.
Louie Armstrong would never have released “What a Wonderful World” had he met you.
The last time I saw something like you… I flushed.
You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
You’re impossible to underestimate.
You’re not simply a drama queen. You’re the whole royal family.
You’re not stupid! You just have bad luck when you’re thinking.
Earth is full. Go home.
You’re like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but nobody wants you.
They say our brains do not stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early.
If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.
You should come with a warning label.
Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it?
You look like a ‘before’ picture.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
Note: this post originally had 143 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.