A woman revealed in a now-viral post that she recently left her fiancé stranded at the mall because he threw a “tantrum” while they were shopping.
Posting in Reddit’s “Am I The A ** hole” (AITA) forum under the username u / Balconies13, the woman said her fiancé, Aaron, asked her to buy him a $ 350 watch. However, when she refused, he pitched a fit.
The post has garnered over 9,600 upvotes and over 2,000 comments from concerned Redditors who encouraged the woman to break off her engagement.
At the beginning of her post, the woman explained that she and Aaron are on “pretty great terms on everything except money.”
“He’s a big spender,” she wrote, adding that he loves to buy watches, “new gadgets,” and “car accessories,” among other things. After losing his job, however, Aaron began looking to his fiancé to buy him his “gadgets.”
“I’ve been noticing him tagging along whenever I go shopping [and he’ll] have me buy him expensive stuff right there and then. I end up paying to avoid causing a scene in public because he’d beg me [and] then start throwing a fit if I refuse, “she wrote.
One day, the woman finally told her fiancé that the behavior needed to stop.
“I told him that I no longer feel comfortable with this and that [the] next time he tries to put me on the spot [and] have me pay for something he likes, [and] then throws a tantrum if I refuse, then I’d walk out and leave him there, “the woman recalled.” He crossed his heart and said he’d NEVER do such a thing. “
Last week, however, the two were shopping for a Father’s Day gift for the woman’s dad when Aaron spotted a $ 350 watch he wanted.
“He asked if I could pay for it but I said no and lied about having only $ 300 for my dad’s gift,” the woman said. “He started going on and on about how cool the watch was then asked if my dad was more important than him.”
Aaron eventually raised his voice, drawing attention from nearby shoppers. So the woman left the mall, got into her car and drove off without him. He later called her reaction “selfish,” and his best friend went so far as to accuse her of “financial control.”
According to a 2019 survey conducted by insurance site Policygenius, poor spending habits can actually ruin relationships. The study found that adults are “10 times more likely to break up if they think their partner is bad with their finances,” according to CNBC.
To avoid experiencing “financial friction,” financial advisor Kristin O’Keeffe Merrick encouraged couples to be transparent about their financial standings, and involve third parties when necessary.
“Money communication is incredibly important in a long-term relationship. I have seen several cases of ‘financial irresponsibility’ that have ruined relationships,” she told CNBC. “If you think your partner is financially irresponsible and you are having a hard time communicating about it, I suggest engaging a third party.”
CNBC added that in cases where the “financial irresponsibility” seems too big a problem to overcome, it’s okay to reconsider the marriage.
“Remember that your spouse’s debt will most likely become your debt at some point,” O’Keeffe Merrick added.
Redditors told u / Balconies13 that she did nothing wrong by leaving Aaron at the mall, and encouraged her to end their relationship, as his spending problems could ruin her finances.
“Honey, please do not marry this man. Please do not. He will absolutely ruin your finances if not your life. But let’s be generous and forget the money stuff for a sec: Focus on how comfortable he is with yelling at you in public. He either has a terrible temper, or he knows he can manipulate you by causing a scene. Either way, that’s horrific and not something you want to suffer for the next 50ish years, “wrote u / goldencain1410. “You deserve better, and to keep your hard-earned money!”
“NTA [not the a**hole]. Do not marry this man. He does not want a wife / partner, he wants an ATM, “advised u / Lux_Brumalis.” He’s not your fiancé, he’s where your financial health goes to die. “
Newsweek has reached out to u / Balconies13 for comment.
Other Viral Reddit Moments
Other AITA posters to go viral in recent weeks include a mother refusing to help raise her daughter’s child, a man who fled a birthday trip over his girlfriend’s drunken comment and a woman who charges her friends a “designated driver tax.”